The Best Advice Ever Received

Some Good Advice

From the Friendship Files



We're constantly getting advice from the people around us, regarding different things. But there'll always be one special piece of advice that we treasure above all the rest. Heartfelt words that someone has said to us which struck a note, inspired a dream or changed our lives for the better. Today, my friends and I share the best advice we've ever been given. 

What Is The Best Advice You've Ever Received?



*When ever I'm afraid to try something new, my best friend always says to me, "You have nothing to lose. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

*Some opportunities only come around once, seize them so as to avoid a life of regret.

*Don't walk away from negative people - RUN!

*"No one can diminish you but yourself". A friend said this to me and it's my favourite advice.

*Forget all the negative comments people give you. Cherish the compliments.

*You're not always going to be the skinniest, smartest or prettiest girl in the room. But don't let that intimidate you. Take the best of what you have and learn to work with it.

*Chocolate is the cure to everything!

*Don't try so hard to fit in. Your differences make you stand out. How will you make your mark in the world if you're exactly like everyone else.

*My mother said to me, "Remember that one day may be hard but the next day gets better.' Those words have carried me through the toughest moments in my life. 

*Don't lose hope if you fail at something. Next time, just have more faith and work harder. But most importantly, make sure that there is a 'next time'.

*Listen to your parents, they always know best. (This was said to me by my parents, naturally).

*A lecturer once said to us in class, "Don't ever be afraid to ask questions. If you don't ask, you will never know. A curious mind is the key to a better education."

*If the shoe fits, buy two pairs!

*I was told: sometimes in difficult times or tasks you have moments when you think you can't do this, it's too much. Just hang on, those moments will pass and you will look back from a better place & think - lucky I didn't give up because its all ok now & so worth it...and it will be.

*Be thankful for all that you have because there's always someone out there who has less than you and who will give anything to be in your shoes.

*I've realised in life, that nothing worth anything is easy to come by...nothing. You have to work at it or for it.

*Don't sit around and wait for something great to happen to you. Get off that couch and make it happen yourself.

*Don't change for anyone, if they can't accept you for who you are then they certainly don't deserve you.

*The most important asset a girl has is her reputation. Its like having a flawless complexion - once its scarred it will always be there every time you look in the mirror.

*Be true to yourself, only then will you enjoy life.

*A work colleague told me, "Your career isn't everything. Make time for your family, friends & self. Because at the end of the day, if things get tough, who's more likely to be there for you?"

*Live each day like it was your last.

*If you don't believe in yourself no one else will, so stop feeling sorry for yourself, dream big and you will achieve much.

*Never judge others because you don't know when you will be in their shoes.

*Leave the past where it is...in the past.

*The best advice I've ever received is from my friend, who told me, "Don't cut yourself short. If you don't have respect and appreciation for yourself, no one else will."

*"Everything you get out of life is what you've settled for." This taught me to not to settle for less than I deserve.





Thanks to all my friends for passing on their favourite bits of advice to us. 

Dear Lovely Reader, I would love for you to also share the best advice you've ever received.

Reluctantly Reunited

This weekend I attended a terribly organised high school get-together. I say 'terribly' organised, because there were no invitations sent out for the event or, if there were, most of us didn't get one. Unless that was the point...hmmm. I ended up going anyway, sans misplaced invite; where a meagre 25 out of our entire class of 150 students turned up.

I heard about the gathering from a few friends – some of which refused to attend, claiming that they “didn't want to see those people again”. I see that high school politics don't just stay in school. It can follow you through life long afterwards. Initially, I didn't plan on going, but at the last minute, curiosity got the better of me as I wondered what everyone from our class had gotten up to in the past few years. It took me ages to walk the short distance from my car to the Sporthius (sports centre). I must have stopped at least five times on the way, freezing in 5 degree weather; thinking, “Should I go? Should I turn back? I haven't seen any of these people in ages. How awkward is it going to be?"

By the time I made it there (after much debate), most of the folks were merrily punch drunk, so if any of them didn't recognize me, I'm assuming it's because they had blurry vision. I must also admit that I (in my completely sober state) could barely recognize anyone either. Who would have thought that people I'd known my whole schooling career could change so much in such a short time. The ones you'd least expect (and who used to slack off at school) have established high-powered, successful careers, and the ones I never thought would settle down are now married, with kids. Some are living their big city dreams, while others found contentment in the simplicity of small town life. No one was surprised to find out that I am still somehow 'involved' with fashion. 

It was marvelous catching up with good old friends, and even better to see that they have remained as warm and wonderful as I remembered. It was also unfortunate to see that the people who thought that they were better than everyone else back then, still do. Every high school cliché that you watch in the movies truly does exist; each person I met at the reunion is living proof of it. It's funny how certain titles stay with you for the rest of your life.



I'm actually glad that I went, it made me look back and appreciate how easy and uncomplicated things were. All we lived for were those 30 minute lunch breaks and school holidays; and the most stressful thing we ever had to encounter was the next maths exam.

All those awful Accounting lessons, Physics extra class and Shakespeare essays were almost worth it in the end. Almost. High school was just a drop in the ocean of life...we all have so many more seas to swim, paths to travel, storms to face and rays of sunshine to bask in.

The Friendship Files

Our Life Mottos



While cleaning out my storeroom, I came across a dusty box filled with all my old books from university. Among them, I found a valuable piece of paper, handwritten by my bff, Maya. It's a collection of sayings that our clique of close friends used to constantly use on campus. Each saying had a special meaning and befittingly applied to our lives at the time. Maya compiled a list of these 'little life mottos' for each of us, so that we could read through them whenever we needed some inspiration or encouragement. I'm sharing a few of these with you today, along with their significant meanings.

* Live in the moment. (For the good times pass too quickly, and the sad times linger on.)

* Always look at the bigger picture. (Often we can only see the task or problem that's in front of us, we have to remember to remove the clouds and look at the bigger picture).

* Life is a journey, not a destination. There is no wrong direction, just a longer route.

* Everything happens for a reason.

* Whatever happens, happens... (This was said after every single exam paper ;)

* Exercise caution, for the world is full of trickery.

* You have the right to be yourself. (Don't pretend to be someone else just to fit in).

* Always take things in your stride and keep smiling while doing it.

* Sometimes it's a just matter of 'the right thing, at the wrong time'.

* Beauty is only skin deep.

* Don't judge a book by it's cover. (You may never know how meaningful it's pages could be).

* Some risks are worth taking. (Like going out on a Friday night instead of studying for Saturday morning's exam).

* You can't sleep in the middle of the bed, choose a pillow. (Meaning that you shouldn't leave anyone hanging or be two-minded about important issues. Eventually you have to make a decision, whether it's right or wrong for everyone involved.)

* Don't ever compare yourself to anyone. There will always be people out there are that better or worse off than you are.

* Rainbows come after rainstorms.

* Why settle for skim milk when you can have whipped cream? (This is my favourite one - because no should settle for less than they deserve).

* There are plenty fish in the sea. (This one was used far too often).

* Sometimes, you've got to give Fate a little push. (If you really want something, don't just sit around and longingly wait for it to happen 'someday'. Get up, go out and make it happen yourself).



These mantras have gotten us through the best and worst of times. What have been some of your life mottos?

Letting Go

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

Under Construction

Any homeowner or flat-letter would know that a house is never really complete. There's always something to be done - new furniture to be bought, redecorating, recolouring, redesigning and renovating. Those are redevelopments that we willingly choose to do. We put our creative ideas forth, start a home refurbishment fund and set a systematic plan into action. The outcome is (usually) what we imagine it to be. And then there's the unplanned upgrades. You know, the ones that sneakily spring up on you, like the leaky roof, cracked tiles, chipped paint and broken window. It happens when you least expect it and has to be fixed without delay, or else the problem worsens. The cycle of repair and restoration never seems to stop, whether it's by choice or mere bad luck.

These little household fractures require you to hire a hard-to-find construction team, buy all sorts of expensive building material you've never heard of and have your home turned into ground zero. The site of construction is a nightmare, covering all your belongings in a desert of dust and dirt. The end result takes weeks, sometimes months to become a reality and by the time it's done, you will discover that there's something new to be fixed. 

With all the torrential rainfall recently, we had to have our roof redone, as it was turning our upper level into somewhat of an indoor swimming pool. It took ages to find a reliable contractor in Small Town, SA and when we finally did, they could barely work a day a week due to the storms. They got ahead eventually and retiled the roof; however in the laborious process, the ceilings were badly affected by the leakage and fell apart. I had a skylight in my room without even asking for one. This meant we had to redo our ceilings - another unplanned event with many more woeful weeks of building. We were knee-deep in rubble and wreckage; displaced from most of our rooms and needed to wear safety helmets, as the 'sky' literally fell down onto our floors. It was a stressful and straining experience and I thought Hurricane Home-Improvement would never end. 

When it was time to put up my new ceiling, I had an interesting design idea. I thought, why not use this predicament and turn it into something beautiful. I had my eye on a crystal chandelier I'd seen in a catalogue and always wanted but never had the appropriate opportunity or reason to purchase it. Since my lights were slightly damaged by the fall, this was the perfect time to get it. The agonizing months of decor disaster was actually worth it in the end, as with a flick of a switch, my room (and day) was lit up by the grand chandelier. Sometimes, all it takes is a small significant change to uplift your home-space and spirits.

Renovating your home is a lot like renovating your life. We too go through break-ups & breakdowns, crumbling complexities, splintered emotions and shattered dreams. We feel so despondent and down in the dumps during the difficult times, that we often can't see past it. With a little ray of hope, revived vision and some constructive thinking, you can mend your mindset and you will realise that something better and more beautiful is destined for you. It may sound cliché, but there is light at the end of every tunnel, or in my case, a chandelier.

The Other Side Of The Fence

One of my BFF's and I decided to take a mini road trip to our previous place of employment, which is about 45km from Small Town, SA. The intention of our visit was to catch up on all our friends and workmates we hadn't seen in almost 2 years. Turns out, this journey would serve a far greater purpose for me.

The first thing to jog my memory about working in a far out place was the early mornings. I had long forgotten what it was like waking up before the sun does, at minus 8 degrees in the middle of a frosty winter, barely making it on time to catch the shuttle bus. I grimly recalled the endless road works, which added an extra 30 minutes to the drive. I also recalled the 7:30 coffee with colleagues every morning, which always made up for agony of getting there. I had remembered a place where I loved my job, where I had found something I actually enjoyed doing, while getting paid to do it. Had I been foolish to leave all this behind? 

Driving through the entrance of my old workplace felt so unfamiliar, it was a place I used to know so well and now I was a complete stranger to it. A sea of faces I didn't recognize greeted me. New offices had sprung up where there used to be open spaces. Progress had been made on things I had starting working on before I left. There were, however, minor touches of the past; the odd poster I had designed on a wall, a picture frame on a friends desk and an emblem I had stuck on my old office door. It was nice to see that a little piece of me was still there.

Our surprise visit was long overdue, as our old co-workers were just as excited to see us. Warms hugs and shouts of glee filled the quiet office corridors. Everyone tried to look busy and content, but the cracks beneath the surface were evident. The hallways were soaked in stress and the pressure of meeting deadlines had taken it's toll on them, showing through strained smiles. The first thing they all asked was "What's it like out there?" They were eager to find out what opportunities lay on the other side of fence, wishing that they too could leave the iron gates of this establishment. The first thing I asked was, "What's it like back here?". I was eager to find out what I had left behind. The replies were all the same, "Busy, as usual", with an added, "You should come back." I wanted to respond by saying, "You'd like me to return, yet you're so desperate to leave." But I knew better not to. 

Before this visit, I had been thinking of all the fond memories I had at work, wondering why I had left. On seeing the low morale & languid labouring, it made me (kinda) appreciate my current jobless state. The workmates left behind yearned for the greener pastures they think we enjoy. Why is it that we always seem to want what other people have? It maybe true that the grass is greener on the other side, but we forget that wherever there's grass, weeds are sure to grow. No matter which garden route you chose, there will be stress and difficulty. Often we focus so blindly on other people's lives that we lose sight of what's right in front of us. So, instead of longingly peering over into someone else garden, nurture the one you're in.